10 February 2013

he·ro/ˈhi(ə)rō/ Noun: A person, typically a man, who is admired for courage or noble qualities

We didn't get the best sleep last night. At 3 am, the nurse came to do K's bloodwork, after which he told me he had to throw up. It's always hard to settle after that, especially because his NG tube always needs to be tested after vomiting to make sure it hasn't moved into the lungs from the stomach. It appears as though tonight may be taking on the same fate - he sat up in bed and barely made it in the bathroom before I flew to the door with a bowl. Ondansetron, teeth brushed, water and then back to bed. He's been doing so much better with the sickness than I expected during this phase. So far this week, only a handful of times.

He wasn't in the best of moods today. Everything seemed to bother him - he was grouchy and out of sorts. He very well may have not been feeling well and that was the way he portrayed it instead of verbalizing it.

His platelets are plumetting nearly daily and today he required another transfusion, just as he did on Thursday. Before being thrust into the world of cancer, I was oblivious to exactly what goes on within the walls. Keian has required numerous transfusions since he was diagnosed only 7 months ago - it is one of the very things supporting his body to make it through the side effects of this chemo, it really makes you realize how important it is to give.

Daddy and Joren came for a visit today - tonight will be my last sleepover before Ryan stays tomorrow. Joren is starting to get more and more out of sorts when at the hospital. He loves seeing his big brother, but it's becoming increasingly difficult to entertain an 8 month old wanting to learn and grow in a small hospital room. We've decided it would be best to keep him home most of the day and then when Ryan and I switch off daily, we will stay together as a family for a short time and then head back home so that Joren can explore.

It's hard being at home alone. Knowing that it will be months before I can even sleep beside Ryan honestly makes me sad. He's always been such a huge comfort for me and he has brought out the best of my strength - it's difficult being away from that.

My hero does not don a cape. My hero cannot fly, nor can he stop a speeding bus with his bare hands. My hero withstands the bad days, but smiles like they're good. My hero laughs through the pain and he rarely complains. My hero gets poked, prodded and pumped with poison. My hero fights the villain until breathless and then goes back for more. My hero is not a man, but a little boy that has more strength and determination than anyone I will ever know. My hero is my boy. My hero, my Keian<3

1 comment:

  1. Prayers, prayers and more prayers for your little hero.