12 December 2012


I don't quite know how to even write this, since I haven't quite accepted what this weekend has brought upon us. We came into the cancer clinic Thursday for Keian's regular treatment and lumbar puncture. Since his counts were expected to go down over the weekend, we wanted to make sure we took advantage of the couple days we had left and took him to Bright Nights in Stanley Park. When we got home, there was a message from Keian's Oncologist saying it was urgent she speak with us. My heart sank.

Keian has relapsed - his Leukemia is no longer in remission. It has returned in his CNS. We are still waiting on the results to see if it has also relapsed in his marrow, but won't see those for another couple days. What does this mean for Keian - This time, it's different, and brings on heaps of possible complications. He will get triple intrathecal chemo and much more intensive IV and oral chemo than he originally received. After 3-4 months of this chemo (in addition to brain radiation at a higher dose than his original protocol) and reaching remission, Keian will need a bone marrow transplant. I can't quite put into words what I'm feeling right now. The Doctor tells us that if it has relapsed in his CNS only, that there is a 45-50% chance he will reach remission and stay there. If it has relapsed into his bone marrow, there is a 15-20% chance he will reach remission and stay there. He will be receiving a larger dose of brain radiation than originally anticipated, which will bring on it's own set of challenges. He will also have his entire body radiated and completely stripped of his immune system to get him ready for transplant, at which point he will be admitted into strict isolation for 2 months.

We've been in hospital since Friday morning, but hope to be going home tomorrow at some point, as it appears his kidneys are handling this dose of chemo without many problems. It's so hard being positive all the time when you're constantly being thrown to the ground, but I will get up and I will be the firm ground that Keian needs for this fight. Admittedly, I am a complete mess when I'm alone, but when I'm with my boy, I am what he needs. I always will be. I will hold his hand. I will hold him when he's sick and rub his back when he's sore. I will carry him to bed and sleep next to him when he wants me to. I will do what I need to be the Mother that he deserves and I will fight my ass off to get him through this. I think it goes without saying that I would take his place in a heart beat. He is and will always be the my very best and bravest hero. I love you forever and always, my special boy.

"Storms of life are strong enough, without cancer stepping in Came creeping through the back door, just counting on a win. Engaging you in battle, we firmly stand our ground Armed with courage, faith and hope, our child's life we surround. This fight rages day and night The will to survive is strong We will never surrender In our lives you don't belong. Prepare yourself to lose this time Our child's life you will not take"


  1. Balling. Chantal you and Ryan are amazing parents. Stay strong but I am here to catch you when you need to be caught. I wish I could take away all the pain you are all going through. Love you all.

  2. I just found your blog through a mutual friend. I am so sorry to read about your brave little's boy's struggles. He truly does sound like a hero!